Are we ready for school?

It’s that time of the year: we’re getting our kids ready for school. Uniforms? Check. Books? Check. And so goes the list with everything needed to start once again. As soon as we check all the boxes for everything we need, we feel as we are all set to face the upcoming year. But mom, dad, ARE YOU REALLY READY?

Take my household for example. My wife and I have been talking about not repeating the issues we had with our son last year. As he enters his freshman year in high school, we need to make sure that as parents we do not make the same mistakes. We are discussing things like, how are we going to manage his homework time? Who decides how much is enough? How do we measure effort? Commitment? What are our expectations from our son as he enters 9th grade? As we all should do, we expect our son to give his best to school work and whatever grade that comes up to be, well, that is what it is. But, how to handle when you know he can do much better? How do we communicate that through him? How do we make him realize how important education is for his future?

First, let me say, there are no easy answers to all those questions. At the same time, they are not impossible questions to answer. There are ways to handle all those situations and answer those question marks. My question to all of you is the following: what are you doing about it? Are you aware, mom and dad, about changes you need to make in order to benefit your child? Did it even cross your mind? Are we (mom and dad) working as a team? Or do we need to improve on this aspect?

My message here is clear and simple: moms and dads need to get ready for back to school just as our kids are doing. We are the backbone of their education. They will turn to us when they have questions, when they feel lonely at school, when they get a bad grade, when no one at school understands them, when a teacher allegedly does not like them. They will be looking for our support and understanding through all their struggles at school. At the same time, they want to celebrate their victories with us as well. But, are we up to the task? Are we ready for that responsibility? Are we up to the challenge?

I have had more than enough situations with my three children, to honestly say sometimes I have not been at my best. There are many reasons I could share as to why that happened, but there will be just excuses, no matter the reason. Situations like I was really tired and I just snapped, or I came back home from a terrible day at work. One thing I learned from the show Quantico (who said you couldn’t find parenting wisdom in terrorism thrillers) was when they trained the officers to find their weakest point. I realized mine was my wife. If my wife was having a tough time with any of our kids, that for me was when I could get really angry with my children. Now, I know that about myself, so next time I see myself in that same situation, I am aware not to do the same mistake again. The important thing here for every parent to understand is that this is a new beginning, a new school year, a new opportunity to show our kids our love. How do we show them our love? By getting ready for this upcoming year. By making sure we are at our best when we are with our children. Talk with your partner and honestly discuss what each one of you does well in this aspect of raising your child and what are things that each one of you can improve.

It does not matter in what stage of education your kid is. Starting school in first grade, elementary school, high school, college or even grad school, if you keep in mind how are you showing up for your children, your relationship with them will improve and the bonds you will create will last a lifetime. Like I tell everyone who is starting to have babies, enjoy every single stage of their lives, because all of them are different and they grow too fast. My twin girls are in college already, and my son enters 9th grade, I have seen high school through the eyes of my girls and now I am getting ready to see it through the eyes of my son. No experience will be alike. But what I learned with children, and continue learning every day, will help me be the best parent I can be for the next stages of their lives.

My question again to you is, what are you going to do? Are you going to be proactive and do something about it? Or are you going to sit still and do nothing. Whatever your decision, remember this: you only get one chance at this, give it your best, because at the end of the day, when you grow older, you can proudly tell your children “I gave you all I got, I gave you my best”. Your kids might not appreciate it right now, but as they mature, they will understand that mom and dad indeed did their best, and really, that is all you can do, your very best.